The library.
I went to find the librarian. In the end, I had hit a wall.
“I understand, but I can’t accept it. It feels like I’m trying to force the knowledge of another world into my head.”
“To understand, you must first obtain mana, but you, Jern, cannot use mana.”
As if it were obvious, Dersia answered without even looking up from the book she was reading. I didn’t even understand those words, so I asked again.
“Is the reason I can’t use this thing called mana because of the nature of my heart-realm?”
“Hmm…”
Dersia put down the book she was reading, thought for a moment, and began to explain.
“The only thing that sets a mage apart from an ordinary human is the ability to store mana. The method of using that stored mana is called magic.”
“Where does mana come from?”
“It is generated naturally everywhere in the world. Of course, there are a few places where mana is scarce. However, there is no place where it is completely absent." "The difference in a mage’s skill naturally lies in their level of magical studies, but the purest difference is in their mana circle, which stores mana.”
“A mana circle…?”
“Yes.”
I met the librarian’s eyes. Dersia looked at me, and I looked back at Dersia. Her eyes were so beautiful that I must have stared a little too long without realizing it, as her expressionless face wavered.
“Do you perhaps not know what a mana circle is?”
“Ah.”
Is this one of those things? The kind of thing a noble couldn’t possibly not know? If I say I know, I would be telling a lie, and if I say I don’t, I could be met with suspicion.
As I tensed for the worst-case scenario, the flow around Dersia suddenly changed. No, the currents changed. In reality, nothing had happened, but the currents I felt swirled around her, creating a massive vortex.
As I took a step back to avoid being swept away by the flow, she approached me. Is she trying to kill me?
“Do not worry. This flow of mana will not harm you.”
“I see.”
Dersia didn't seem to have any such intention. For some reason, the currents that had been pushing me around so forcefully now had no effect, even after becoming such a large vortex. Dersia came very close, bent at her waist, and took my cheek in her hand.
Then she thrust her face right in front of mine. It was as if she were about to kiss me. I resisted with all my might.
“Th-this is a violation of Imperial law. I am still a minor…”
“…Do not say such strange things. Just look into my eyes.”
“Your eyes?”
In Dersia’s eyes, something sparkling was swimming in a circle. It was a very peculiar sight, one not seen in any ordinary living creature, and as I stared, captivated, she added an explanation.
“You should see small stars. How many are there?”
“…I see nine.”
“The number of these stars is the total amount of mana that can be stored. I have awakened nine stars, which means I am at the stage of composition.”
“Is that high?”
“There are probably fewer than thirty mages who have reached the stage of composition at present. So, yes. I am at a slightly high stage. However, even I have not reached the Heavenly Realm. Why do you think that is?”
“I think it’s because reaching the Heavenly Realm is truly difficult.”
“No.” “Then what is it?”
“It is because reaching the Heavenly Realm is truly, truly, sincerely difficult.”
“…”
With my cheek still in her hand, I glared at Dersia. Dersia casually let go and returned to her seat as she continued.
“It is no exaggeration. The Heavenly Realm is a world of ideas. A world where a mage’s enlightenment is above the laws and rules of this world… in other words, a new world." "A mage who has reached that place has created their own world and is thus comparable to a god, and we call it reaching the heavens as a sign of respect.”
“Yes, I understand that it’s truly, truly, really, sincerely difficult. So what does that have to do with me being unable to use mana?”
“A mage obtains, stores, and uses pure mana from this world that can become anything. In that case, where do you think a mage who has reached the Heavenly Realm stores their mana?”
“…They could store it in the world they created.”
“You are half right. They have no need to store mana. They merely project the mana of the world they created into this world. The mana circle loses its meaning." "What meaning is there in having nine stars, or ten stars? The night sky of the world he created would be so full of stars that one could not finish counting them in a thousand years.”
I roughly understood Dersia’s words and nodded.
“You said the only difference between the heart-realm and the Heavenly Realm is whether one is the ruler of the created world or its master.”
“That is correct. You, Jern, cannot obtain mana from this world. It might be a different story in your world.”
“Are these movements I call currents my mana and my magic?”
“That is also correct. That is why no one in this world will be able to teach you about mana. None of the knowledge I possess would be applicable in that world.”
“Ha…”
I moved the currents to make a book float. To be honest, I didn't even know if this was real magic. I just thought it was some kind of trick or shortcut.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this.”
“A world is not structured simply enough for a novice mage who hasn't even been a week out of a divine fever to understand. If it were made that way, it would collapse in less than a second.”
“Hmm… by any chance, how do ordinary mages gather mana?”
“Even if you learned, it would be of no use. The laws of the worlds are different, so it’s hard to predict what might happen. I cannot recommend it.”
“I’d still like to try. There’s nothing else I can do right now.”
“…Gathering mana is possible just by breathing. Since it hasn’t been long since you suffered the divine fever, under normal circumstances, you would have already gathered a certain amount of mana.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But in reality, you probably don’t have even a little mana. Just as something that lives underground and something that lives in the sky have different physical structures, a mage of this world and a mage of your world, Jern, are completely different…”
I let Dersia’s words go in one ear and out the other as I took out and opened a book on basic magic. She’s a brilliant librarian, but she becomes too talkative when a topic she knows comes up. It seems better to just pretend to listen.
While looking for the most basic spells, I found a strange one.
Illumination.
It was a spell that served as a light source by creating a small ball of light to illuminate the surroundings. If I could use this, it seemed it would be very useful. The orphanage was a difficult place to light, so the environment was not suitable for reading books at night.
As instructed, I focused my mind until I felt a tingling sensation in my wrist, and picturing the sun— Fwoosh- “Woah, that’s tiring.” I suddenly felt my energy drain from my body. In any case, I had succeeded in creating a ball of bright light above my hand.
I proudly brought the ball of light over and showed it off.
“I made this. Do you think I have a talent for it?”
“…?”
For a long while, Dersia stared with a blank expression at the magic I had conjured for the first time.
“This is impossible.”
“But I did it.”
“I simply cannot understand how you, Jern, who lives in that world, can use the magic of this world. It is the same as a mole without wings flying in the sky.”
“That is quite strange. But I did it.”
“This is not something to be taken so lightly. Could it be that your mind has not yet fully adapted to that world…?" "No, if you fell into the heart-realm right after suffering the divine fever, then the world was already complete when…”
After enduring Dersia’s muttering for about ten minutes, I got to the point.
“So, can I learn magic?”
“…Come here for a moment.”
As I stood next to Dersia, she once again looked intently into my eyes.
“Would you try using the magic?”
“Yes.”
I created the ball of light once again. Dersia muttered with a dazed look on her face.
“It’s really there… I see one star.”
“Really? Why can’t I see it?”
“It is not something that forms in your field of vision. In any case… it should be possible. Now that you have manifested a star, you can learn magic through the ordinary way as well.”
“That’s the first piece of good news I’ve heard since becoming a mage. Do I just need to self-study now?”
“That will be difficult. Learning magic through self-study is something that only happens in novels.”
“I don’t have a master, so what should I do?”
“Pardon? Can’t you just go to the academy?”
“How do I go?”
“Jern.”
Dersia looked at me and spoke.
“You are not a noble, are you.”
“…”
I’ve been found out. I feigned ignorance and whistled. Dersia sighed and put down her book.
“Let’s hear your story.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“You have done nothing to me, so it does not matter. And I was not looking for an apology.”
“I was actually born an orphan in the orphanage over there—” I laid out my short life story, and Dersia rolled her eyes with an expression of disbelief.
“You have great nerve. Do you know the penalty for the crime of impersonating a noble?”
“Yes. I heard they cut out your tongue.”
“Weren’t you afraid?”
“I’m so young, they wouldn’t really cut it out, would they? If I cried my eyes out while wetting my pants, they would probably let me go.”
“Indeed…”
Dersia, who had been nodding, quickly came to her senses and shot a sharp look at me.
“If you were really going to deceive a noble, you should have gathered more knowledge. All nobles must enter the academy.”
“What about commoners?”
“There is a possibility if you are a special-admissions student.”
“Could I become a special-admissions student?”
“No. If you had that kind of talent, there is no way I wouldn’t know.”
“…”
“Strictly speaking, it’s not as if there is no way. Try doing this.”
Dersia told me a loophole. It seemed quite useful, so I nodded and expressed my gratitude.
“Thank you. I’m always receiving your help.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“…Please speak informally. You know I’m a commoner now.”
“I do not speak comfortably with those I am not close to.”
Dersia’s gaze returned to her book. I watched her for a moment, then suddenly asked a question.
“Ms. Dersia.”
“Yes.”
“You’re not a librarian, are you?”
Dersia froze for about ten seconds before answering.
“…That is correct. How did you know?”
“The Empire is not foolish. I didn’t think they would make a Great Mage, one of only thirty in the entire world, work as a librarian.”
“Hmm. I have been told that it is my weakness to lose my composure when it comes to matters of magic and fail to distinguish between what should and should not be said.”
“You seem to be a very incredible person, so why are you helping me?”
“I am only offering advice; I have never helped you directly.”
“Well, that’s true. Then why do you give me advice? I have nothing to offer you in return.”
“You are, in the end, on borrowed time. Showing a little mercy to someone like that is nothing…”
Dersia paused mid-sentence. She seemed to be analyzing the words she had just uttered.
“…No, that’s not it.”
“Pardon?”
“Jern. I have a slight interest in you.”
Dersia looked at me with an unfocused gaze.
“You were born with a peculiar constitution. Truly… peculiar.”
“Aha, so that’s what piques your interest.”
“No. That is peculiar as well, but I am interested in your disposition.”
“My disposition…?”
“Yes.”
That gaze, as if she were looking at an inanimate object, was, to be honest— “When you one day meet your end, please return to this library. That will be the price for my advice.”
“…Why?”
“I wish to see with my own eyes what you choose as your final struggle at the end that will one day surely come. I am curious to see just how efficiently meaningless it will be.”
“…” …I was a little offended.