Of course, I could not understand a single word of it. Seeing the question in my eyes, the librarian began to explain in a hushed voice.
“Magic is the act of painting one’s own inner world onto the world of reality. That world of one’s own is called a heart-realm, and it is born the moment one suffers the divine fever.”
“It seems that has something to do with my current situation.”
“That is correct. For any mage, the first heart-realm they open is ordinary. How large could a world opened by a mere ten-year-old possibly be? It is not so different from reality, so it is called the physical-realm." "The ultimate goal of a mage’s training, of cultivating their heart-realm, is to reach the Heavenly Realm. Those who reach it are not bound by the laws of the world and can cast magic freely. This is the state commonly known as that of a Great Mage.”
As I listened intently to this magical common sense I was hearing for the first time, the librarian continued in a slightly lowered voice.
“However, sometimes, very rarely, if one uses forbidden techniques or receives poor teaching in the process of cultivating their heart-realm, the world is destroyed and falls. It is to fall into the Deep Realm.”
“... That sounds really bad.”
“And it is. Ironically, the Deep Realm that everyone shuns is very similar to the coveted Heavenly Realm. They are not bound by laws, they wield strange and unusual magic, and they impose laws upon the world that even Great Mages cannot comprehend.”
“Then what’s so bad about it?”
“They are rejected by the world they created.”
“That is the only factor that distinguishes the Heavenly Realm from the Deep Realm, but at the same time, it is everything. A mage lives within the world they create, so to be rejected by such a world means a future of endless suffering, ending in a miserable death, is sealed.”
“Hmm...”
I thought for a moment before asking a question.
“Just hearing that, I don't quite understand how terrible my situation is. Is there an example?”
“132 years ago. A promising fire elementalist named Loban Krunnarov dabbled in black magic to cultivate his heart-realm, summoning a demon, then squeezing it for its juices and drinking them." "His heart-realm fell and became a Deep Realm, and it was a forest where the wildfires never went out."
"The first to notice was an academy cadet who detected the constant acrid smell coming from his body. When he was arrested and his mask removed, they confirmed his entire body was covered in blisters from severe burns."
"He killed three knights while being taken into custody and escaped, but two months later, he was found floating in a pond, having become a piece of blackened, dried-up charcoal." "Ironically, however, the cause of death was not from being burned, but drowning.
He could not bear the pain and threw himself into the pond, but his Deep Realm did not forgive even his corpse and burned it.”
I was instantly horrified.
“I don't think mine is quite that bad...”
“No mage in history has ever fallen into a Deep Realm from the moment of their birth. Therefore, it is difficult to surmise, but it seems the reason you are fine right now is that your mind is still immature." "In the future, if you grow accustomed to your world and become a mage who lives more in the Deep Realm than in the physical-realm, you will meet a similar end. Your heart-realm is the Deep Sea, so you will come to learn how a human body changes in the deepest parts of the ocean.”
More than the death sentence, I was amazed by the librarian's vast knowledge. Does every librarian at the Imperial Library possess this level of knowledge? I sighed and reconfirmed the facts.
“I think I get it. My heart-realm is the Deep Sea, so I'll either drown, or get eaten by deep sea creatures... No, before that, I'll be crushed to death by the water pressure.”
“Precisely.”
“Whether I learn magic or not, it's the same?”
“Yes. An egg submerged in water would be the most fitting description of your state. It cannot hatch, and even if it does, there is only death. Even if it refuses to hatch, the same result awaits.”
This is truly hopeless. I scratched my head, then bowed my head to the librarian to express my gratitude.
“It's horrible, but... thank you for telling me my fate.”
“... I apologize. I believe it was a truth better left unknown.”
“I was the one who asked, so it's fine. It's much better than dying without knowing why.”
I picked up the book again.
“Still, I think I know what I have to do.”
“There is no need to make an extreme choice so soon. At least, so that you do not leave any regrets—” “... No, I'm not going to kill myself. Don't worry.”
“Then what do you mean to do?”
“Whether it's deep sea creatures, drowning, or being crushed by water pressure, I have to at least try.”
I had no intention of just giving up and dying. If this is the price for being born into a new world— I will overcome it, no matter what it takes.
“First, drowning. I have no way of dealing with that right now, so I'll put it aside. The water pressure... I wonder if wearing some kind of suit would work? And the deep sea creatures... What are they, really? I've never even heard of them.”
Dersia, who had been watching me indifferently, opened her mouth.
“It may be presumptuous, but I will state my opinion frankly.”
“Yes?”
“There is no way to survive in the Deep Realm. You will face the worst death imaginable, so I recommend you do the things you've wanted to do before that and then throw yourself into a lake. It will be far less painful.”
“Yes, it seems so. Of all things, to get the Deep Sea, what bad luck.”
“It may be difficult to accept, but it is the truth. Therefore, spending your remaining time meaningfully is...?”
The librarian tilted her head for a moment, then asked.
“You understand that fact?”
“If you mean the fact that whatever I do is meaningless and the end is nothing but a terribly painful death, then yes, I understand.”
“Is meaningless effort your goal?”
“No. It's just unfair, isn't it? To be talking about life and death at only ten years old... Rather than give up and live the rest of my life to the fullest before dying, I'd rather struggle my whole life, whether it works or not, and die an ugly death.”
No matter what means I have to resort to. I definitely will. The librarian looked at me, slightly surprised, then soon took out another book and began to read.
“Do you plan to visit this library in the future?”
“Um, probably.”
“I will sometimes be here at this time, so if there is anything you do not know, please ask. I will accept your questions.”
“Gasp...”
My face brightened and I bowed my head.
“Thank you.”
“You're welcome. Could you tell me your name?”
“M-My name is...”
That's right.
She thinks I'm a noble. I racked my brain, came up with a suitable family name, and added it.
“I am Jern Rusfeld. It may be for a short time, but I look forward to your guidance.”
For some reason, the librarian gave me a puzzled look, but surely she wouldn't have memorized the family names of every single noble.
“Jern... I think I'm going to die from the heat...”
“I think I know how a shrimp being cooked in a steamer feels right now...”
The scorching temperature made even the tirelessly energetic children as docile as cats. The power of Mother Nature. I replied vaguely while reading a book on magical studies I had borrowed.
“It's because you're moving. If you stay still, it's not hot.”
“I am staying still, and it's hot! Aren't you hot, Jern?”
Linmel's melting voice made me a little puzzled. I knew it was humid, but was it really that hot? Looking around at the other children, I saw empty spots where kids, drenched in sweat, had given up and gone to the well.
It looked like a fight had broken out by the well over whose turn it was, and even though Linmel had already doused herself with water once, she was still singing about how hot it was. I—wasn't feeling it that much. No, I hadn't shed a single drop of sweat.
This was definitely unnatural. Could it be my heart-realm...
“... Ah.”
It's related.
When a person enters the Deep Sea, they get crushed and die. If they somehow found a way to withstand that pressure, they would suffocate and die. Even if they solved the breathing problem, next they would have to survive the deep sea creatures.
A human who cannot even swim would be very easy prey to hunt. Even if they somehow managed that... they would die of hypothermia. The temperature of the Deep Sea is not suitable for human life. ...
I decided to think positively. Among all the elements that are trying to kill me, this is the only one that's helping me. Thanks to it, I was cool even in this sweltering heat.
As I focused on my reading again, Linmel, who had approached without me noticing, hugged my neck.
“W-What is it?”
“Whoa! What's this? Jern, you're kind of cool! Your skin is like ice!”
It's not that extreme yet. She did say that since my mind is still adapting to the Deep Realm, the penalties applied to me are almost non-existent. The currents only push me slightly, the things living in the Deep Sea have barely noticed my existence, and I can breathe just fine.
Since everything else is like this, my body temperature probably has not dropped enough to affect my health. My perceived temperature is probably just two or three degrees lower, that's all.
“Let's stick together today, don't leave my side!”
I ignored Linmel's nuzzling with all my might and continued to read Introduction to Magical Studies. Reading it changes nothing. I cannot learn magic through ordinary means, after all.
The level of the place I'm in is too high compared to me. It's like a little kid stuck inside a spaceship built by a hyper-advanced civilization. If the magic I can create is what moves this spaceship, then I can do nothing.
Trying to pilot it would only lead to something terrible. But I cannot just sit still and do nothing. Starting from the multiplication tables and trying to understand the engineering equations that move the spaceship might seem foolish to others, but isn't it better than just blankly accepting my fate?
And it's not like I have achieved absolutely nothing. I'm gradually getting used to it.
“Move away a bit. A breeze will blow soon, so it'll be cool.”
“Huh?”
I touched the currents with my finger. How it works is still a mystery, but I think I now know how to apply force in a more distant direction and in what manner. Unlike at first when I could only focus it on a single point, I can now make it flow generally over a wider area.
The currents became wind. A result born purely from my inadequacy.
“Whoa... How did you know? Amazing!”
Linmel's eyes sparkled as she stepped away, spreading her arms to feel the wind. The other orphanage children, who had been lethargic, also went outside excitedly. For now, it's just wind, but if I get more used to it, I might be able to make others outside the sea empathize with what I feel.
If so, that person would also experience the power of the Deep Sea. I'm not even sure if this is magic, but if it is, my magic is truly terrible. As I sighed, someone suddenly wrapped their arms around my neck.
As I silently panicked at the sudden assassination attempt, the assassin giggled and chattered.
“Still, Jern is the coolest after all, huh?”
“... Th-thanks.”
Should I say my effort in touching the currents was worth it, or not? It was a day that complicated my thoughts in many ways.