Some have said. That mental anguish surpasses physical pain. The agony of being abandoned by a loved one is more tormenting than the pain of your whole body being set ablaze.
Hearing such words, I thought to myself. Has this person ever had their entire body burned?
Probably not.
Though they've likely been abandoned by a loved one. I agree that mental anguish is also a form of pain. I am not trying to argue that depression is not a real illness, a mere matter of willpower.
However, it is on a different plane from actual physical pain. That was my conclusion. If mental anguish were more efficient at creating a Great System than physical pain, why would the Red Lotus shove people into the sea and scorch them with fire?
The fact that I am the Deep Sea means I must have suffered torture of that magnitude in a past life. It means I was suffocated, my whole body was crushed, and monsters, ever watching for a chance to kill me, tore at my flesh. But of course.
‘... That's never happened.’
I don't think I ever lived such a painful life. No, I lived a life quite distant from pain. The only pain I ever suffered at the hands of another was being hit by a flying potato while walking down the street.
I think it left a small bruise. Of course, mental anguish is also pain. After all, Ren also fell, with the decisive cause being that he was abandoned by his parents.
But then again, abandoned by parents... A traumatic experience of that level? I've never experienced such a thing.
Does that mean Korea's competitive society is that painful?
No way.
This place is more terrible. No matter how many times I think about it, I hit a dead end. After ruminating on my past life in search of a cause, I eventually pushed the thought aside.
It was something I would have to confirm someday. But if there's a forest fire, you should be thinking about how to extinguish it; identifying which cigarette butt caused it is a matter to be postponed.
"You seem to have a lot on your mind."
"... Yes."
After the incident was resolved. As I was riding my horse out of the kingdom, Karos sidled up to me and asked. I had received a lot of help from her.
She had even risked her own reputation to demand a bribe. In the end, her identity as an Imperial Envoy was inevitably revealed, but one could say she had faithfully carried out Sharmia's orders. So, despite her clear intention to dig for information, I answered her.
"Once one thing is resolved, another arises. Nothing in this world is easy."
"I see."
Her eyes asked for an explanation. It was something I would tell Sharmia anyway. Since I had nothing to hide, I just answered.
"I captured one of Red Lotus' officers and extracted some information."
"...!"
Karos gripped the reins so tightly I could tell she was shocked. I could see her horse was in distress. I cleared my throat and explained.
"It wasn't anything that grand, but I've come to understand their objective a bit."
"... It seems quite grand. What is it?"
"It's the same as what you already know. They intend to create more fallen ones."
"However, their method is peculiar. It's something along the lines of placing a thin burden over the entire world, making all mages live in pain, thereby securing more fallen ones."
"Is that method actually possible?"
"My Master said it was impossible. But they must have some way. The best-case scenario would be that they're just completely out of their minds, but..."
I trailed off. The Red Lotus are those who execute rational plans with irrational actions. After breaking through the princess's protection and carrying out indiscriminate terror attacks on the Empire, once they had achieved their goal of making a name for themselves, they chose to grow their power beneath the surface.
By now, some of the great organizations of the underworld must have already kissed the feet of the Red Lotus. They are madmen, but whoever is handling them is not mad. No, they are exquisitely mad.
"I think we've come too far to hope for an optimistic outcome."
"I agree."
Karos took on a look of serious contemplation.
"Jern. If... if a film of that world-covering burden were to form."
"Yes."
"Would it also apply to ordinary people, not just mages?"
"Hmm, it would. To overlay a burden means to tamper with the physical-realm itself, and the physical-realm is where ordinary people live."
"But ordinary people aren't the Red Lotus's target, are they? Those fiends' only goal should be to make mages fall."
"That is correct."
I shrugged and replied.
"That's why they care even less about anything outside their objective."
"To put it a bit extremely, if they had to grind up ten thousand citizens to create a single fallen one, they'd do it a hundred times over."
"..."
It was a fact that Karos must have roughly known as well. She just found it hard to accept. I had noticed it before, but seeing how she worshipped the princess like a god, she also seemed like a person who lived for justice.
"Don't worry too much. If we know about it, we can stop it. If something were to happen, Lady Sharmia would foresee it and stop it."
"Hnngh..."
Karos's hand, gripping the reins, trembled.
"What happened to the officer you captured?"
"He killed himself. He must have returned to the Red Lotus."
"The mass... I see."
"Hm? You know of him."
After speaking, I realized. She's the princess's escort knight. Of course, she would know everything about the Red Lotus officers whose faces and names are known.
Karos nodded slightly and continued.
"He came up a few times in conversation with Her Highness the Princess. She said that his combat power itself is on the weaker side, as it merely borrows a knight's body, but he is a bothersome opponent who revives at the Red Lotus's main base no matter how many times you kill him, so you always suffer losses whenever you face him."
Has she fought him? It was an assessment that perfectly grasped the mass's characteristics. As I was thinking that the Empire was more competent than I'd thought, Karos looked at me, her eyes filled with some resolve.
"I have heard many things from Her Highness that others do not know. It is not because I am special. It is merely that I have received a small trickle of the knowledge she holds."
"Hmm... I see."
"Jern. I also know of the existence of Red Lotus officers that you do not."
What's this?
Is she showing off? When I looked back at her with a "So what?" expression, she cleared her throat and got to the point.
"I can tell you. About the existence of officers not known to the world, officers no one knows about right now."
"Is that something Her Highness discovered with her prophetic ability?"
"... Yes."
Karos nodded and replied.
"This time was no exception. It seems you intend to actively seek contact with the Red Lotus."
"Yes. It is a matter directly linked to my survival."
Right now, I don't even know what the Three Calamities exactly means. The three Great Systems where life can exist. I can only surmise it's something like that.
"In that case, it would be helpful to know about their core members and the methods they use. What do you say?"
"It is a tempting offer. But-" "I will not ask for anything else."
Karos declared before I could say anything else.
"It is not an order from Her Highness the Princess either. This is my own personal, unilateral action."
"...?"
This knight, mad with loyalty, is telling me such facts without the princess's orders—without any objective. It was a little suspicious, but she was not one to lie. There would be no harm in listening, so I nodded my head.
"Then that's great for me. Shall we talk here?"
Karos looked behind her and then shook her head.
"It will be quite long. When you return to the Empire, come find me."
"I will tell the guards at the Imperial Palace to inform me if you state my name and yours."
"Yes. I'm looking forward to it."
The only Red Lotus officers I knew in detail were the mass and Suirak, so being able to hear information about the others would be a great help. I didn't know why she was suddenly doing this, but when I expressed my sincere gratitude, she looked forward and answered.
"You will understand when you hear it, but you will probably find it hard to believe."
"Yes? Why is that."
"Because among the officers is someone you know."
"... Really?"
"Yes. Not right now, but he is one who will soon become so."
Karos's voice was filled with conviction.
No way.
Astonished, I reflected on the attitude she had shown me all this time. An inexplicable, subtle hostility. The time she tried to win me over...
I frowned and answered.
"I think I know who it is."
"... Yes?"
Since I had figured out the identity before she even said it, Karos asked back, flustered.
"You know?"
"Yes. There is only one person around me who is closest to the Red Lotus."
"... Who do you think it is."
"So this is when you use the phrase, 'to be betrayed by someone you trust'..."
Under Karos's seemingly surprised gaze, I spat out the answer.
"Indeed, my Master has seemed to be on the verge of falling lately."
So that crazy Master of mine, Dersia, finally falls and joins the Red Lotus. I should have known from the moment she trapped me in a living book and manipulated my memories. As I lamented thus, Karos replied fiercely in a tone mixed half with relief, half with pity.
"You are completely wrong. Absolutely not."
"Pardon?"
No, then who is it? I couldn't even guess.
A small mountain behind a city. In a cave somewhere on the mountainside, a person opened their eyes.
Cold.
Realizing that first, the man clutched his head and sat up.
‘... My head.’
From within his splitting headache, the memories of last night resurfaced. He was a herb gatherer. He had learned how to distinguish and gather medicinal herbs from his father, and having never learned anything else, he was content with his lifelong profession.
And he had gone up the mountain. To gather the glow-leaf that shines at night... His memory cut off there.
"... Where am I?"
Trying his best to ignore the persistent, throbbing headache, he looked around. A cold, narrow, and dark cave. Amidst a chill so cold it felt like water would freeze the moment it was poured, water that had not yet frozen solid but formed a thin layer of ice was flowing on the floor.
In other words, the water had just been flowing. The herb gatherer soon felt that his entire body and clothes were also damp. From those wet clothes, a chill even colder than the cave's was radiating.
As if he had been frozen solid until just a moment ago.
"..."
A shiver ran down his spine at the situation he could not possibly comprehend normally, and he tried to retrace his memories. What on earth had happened last night when his memory cut off.
‘Right, I met someone on the mountainside....’
Fragmented memories assembled and surfaced. He was a knight. A knight with muscles like a bear and a frame like a tree, one who was not just large, but enormous.
And so, the herb gatherer killed him.
"?"
At that, the herb gatherer's expression became bewildered.
Killed him. Himself? That knight?
The one carrying a greatsword bigger than his body, wearing armor that seemed like it wouldn't even scratch if you threw a rock at it? But it was the truth. He, who had never once fought properly besides childish scuffles, had easily toyed with the knight and torn him to shreds.
"No, that's not right..."
The herb gatherer shook his head. A lifetime of climbing this mountain told him. That mountain is a different mountain.
The hands and feet that killed that knight are not his. But, the memory is his. The terrified expression of the dying knight, the sensation of breaking that armor.
All of it was so vivid.
"Ugh..."
The headache gradually worsened. Other memories popped up one after another in his mind. He was a farmer, a guard, and sometimes a knight.
The guard killed the farmer. The farmer killed the knight. The knight killed the merchant.
He kills himself, and that self is killed by another self.
Countless cycles.
Countless selves, with no discernible beginning or end, killing and being killed by themselves.
"Ah, aaaaaargh...!"
Realizing what memory was about to arrive, the herb gatherer resisted desperately, rolling on the floor. I have to stop it. This memory must not reach that point.
If it does, I will become a part of it. A member of that cycle. An indescribable terror enveloped him.
But a memory, once burst forth, could not be stopped. It just proceeded, slowly eating away at him. In the end, the herb gatherer saw it.
[Wh-who are you?]
[Will this one do?]
[Well, the more preparations, the better.]
The familiar mountain. The familiar self.
And, death.
"Ah........"
And so he was devoured. The herb gatherer could no longer distinguish between the past memories and himself as a herb gatherer. But the memories still gnawed at the remaining flesh.
The remaining body continued to twitch, replaying the engraved memories. For a long time. The sun set, and rose.
The sun set again.
"Fuck..."
When he stood up again, he was no longer a herb gatherer. The mass clutched its head and stared at the night sky outside the cave, then pulled off its hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. -Snap. The severed hand writhed and moved, becoming a lump of flesh with an ear attached.
The mass reported without a shred of hesitation.
"You probably heard from Suirak, but Dersia has entered the fray. That bitch had set a trap. What could I do, she's a 9-Star mage. I fell for it."
[...]
This time, the writhing ear changed its shape and became a mouth.
[Confirmed. Anything unusual to report?]
"Umm..."
The mass tapped its head. It felt like there was something more, but since it had just finished fusing, it couldn't recall it clearly. Of course, the thought that there might be something more was also part of this burden, so it didn't take it too seriously.
After a moment of thought, something caught in the mass's mind.
"Ah, right. There's one fact I confirmed while falling into the trap."
[What is it?]
"That disciple she's raising, the fallen one, turns out he's a Great System."
[... You mean that guy Suirak was trying to draw in. Did you confirm which world?]
"No. I'm not a Great System, how would I know."
The mass pondered for a moment within its memories. For some reason, it was blurry, and the scene didn't come to mind clearly. It was more like the fact itself came to mind, rather than the scene.
"Still, no need to worry about it. He was nothing special. Looked like a guy who'd soon be crushed to death by the burden."
[Is that so. Confirmed.]
"...... Hrmm."
After the report was finished. As the mass was sorting out its complicated thoughts, it realized a few facts didn't quite add up.
"Strange...."
The muddiness of its memories was natural, but certain parts felt as if they were shrouded in fog. To think of it simply, it was probably an acceleration of the burden. The mass, which had been focusing on those few things, soon rose from its spot.
"Tsk, I don't know."
It might be because not much time had passed since the fusion ended. If it continues like this, I can just check then. Setting its mind at ease, it looked down at the village below the mountain.
"Since I used this one this time..."
I'll have to increase my stock a little. And thus, the fate of the villagers was decided.