I scanned my surroundings, quickly assessing the situation. I had just been told to join the Red Lotus. That meant they had found out I was a heart-realm mage.
Since I didn't know what methods they were using, denial was pointless. Instead, I refused gently, so as not to provoke him.
"I have no desire to join a murderous terrorist group with an unknown future. I apologize for having to convey my refusal, and I wish your organization endless prosperity."
"What we'll do in the future, you ask..."
Suirak muttered and took a step forward. That single movement made a cold sweat run down my back. I had seen it before, but I could feel the temperature plummet as if the Deep Sea itself was freezing over.
"If you are curious about such things, I can tell you."
"Really?"
"Yes. We will do nothing at all."
It was nonsense. Feeling my excitement deflate, I retorted.
"... That's truly believable."
"There is no reason to lie. Our purpose has been achieved. You too will soon lose the place you belong."
"Pardon?"
"What have we done? Think about it."
"Well, you've done terrible things. For a purpose I can't even fathom..."
What is he talking about, just as I was thinking that— I saw Suirak's gaze fall upon me. ... What did that guy just say? ...
Isolation?
"Hoh."
He smiled, seemingly satisfied. Forgetting I was in front of an enemy, I was horrified, feeling a wave of dizziness.
"So, you reveal to everyone that heart-realm mages exist, and at the same time, plant the image that they are potential terrorists... making it so there's nowhere for them to belong except the Red Lotus—" "To be precise, it's to make them seek us out."
"You're insane."
Kidnapping, murder, terrorism, theft. They were actions with no discernible causal link. That was why Dersia and I had concluded that the overall reason was to build the Red Lotus's reputation and increase its influence.
It was obvious. Because from the start, there was no real purpose. In reality, they had been in contact with the underworld.
"This will be a long fight. We must lay the foundation." —But if that was the true nature of it.
It wasn't aimed at the Empire, nor was it aimed at mages. This was a coercive love letter aimed solely at heart-realm mages. A message that soon, there would be only one place left for them.
". It seems there are more fallen ones living in hiding than I thought."
"It seems you didn't know. For a while, we will need to contact them."
"We will hide. And the Empire, to find us in hiding, will persecute the fallen ones."
"Where do you think they will go? Who do you think they will seek?" .
No matter how I looked at it, he was not in his right mind. Not hiding my contempt, I glared at Suirak and prepared my most efficient act of defiance. To do that, I had to make him focus on me.
I threw out the most difficult question I could think of.
"What in the world is the reason for all this? Do you want to live that badly?"
"Our purpose is protection."
"... Pardon?"
I didn't actually expect an answer, so I was a bit flustered as I asked again. What were they protecting? Their own lives?
Or that pathetic power of theirs? But the words Suirak spoke surpassed all my imaginings.
"You and this world. Everything that allows us to exist."
"..."
If it was a joke, it wasn't even funny. Seeing my cold eyes, Suirak twisted the corner of his mouth and extended a hand. His skin was as white as a corpse's. "Look."
What am I supposed to look at, the moment I thought that, his arm turned purple, then black, and then it shriveled— Clatter. It turned to ice and fell to the floor. Suirak, who had become one-armed in an instant, stared at his severed arm and muttered.
"Not even a single moment is permitted to me. I must resist every day, every minute, every second."
"The moment I give up resisting the pain—the thing you are now afraid of will become a frozen corpse."
The burden on Suirak, while perhaps not as bad as my own, looked quite dreadful. He stepped on the arm, from which not even blood flowed, crushing it, and asked calmly.
"Wishing to preserve my life, you say? Do you still think that?"
"Who would wish to live longer in a world like this? If I could, I would want to escape by becoming a phenomenon."
"It is a state you all call death. Resisting that impulse, remaining human, is entirely my choice."
"Then why don't you just do it?"
"You too will reach the same destination as me."
"Do you think you would not choose the end, even while experiencing pain worse than death?"
"... I don't know."
I wasn't just saying it; I truly didn't know. That man, Suirak, seems to have lived for a long time. Among his struggles, he must have already tried everything I was planning to do.
And seeing him in this state... I would like to endure the burden without as much pain as possible, but it doesn't seem like it will be that easy. Whether I can endure that pain is something I can't rashly conclude until I experience it myself.
Still, one thing is for certain— "But, no matter what happens, if I die, I die. I will not put anything other than my own life on the scales." —If I die, I'll die alone. I have no intention of taking innocent people with me as companions on the road to death.
I don't know what kind of expression I was making as I glared at him. But Suirak, looking very satisfied with my appearance, smiled darkly and shook his arm. Crack— As if he were some kind of mollusk, bone sprouted, flesh crept over it, and a new arm grew out.
Rather than finding it grotesque, I was curious how a guy who couldn't even use magic could do something like that.
"You will. Clever child. If you saw the world placed on the other side of the scale, you would deliberate thousands of times before giving up the lives of others. And then you would seek us out."
He held out his hand. It was still a pristine white arm.
"Take it. If you do, you will learn who the enemy is. You will cease to care about trivial groupings like individuals and collectives."
"May I ask a few things?"
I secretly took out the key from my pocket and gripped it tightly, using my words to cover the sound of the wind blade carving into the desk.
"Go ahead."
"How did you know I was a heart-realm mage? That Wihwa person didn't know."
"Wihwa was not in his right mind. But—I, too, cannot be certain yet. I cannot see your world."
"Pardon?"
What is he talking about? Suirak narrowed his brow, as if he couldn't understand it himself.
"Being this close, I can tell that you do not belong to this world. However... I cannot see the rest. This is the first time I've encountered such a case."
"You don't know which world I'm in?"
I thought he'd obviously figured out I was of the Deep Sea and came to get me. Especially with this pearl.
"Correct. But I can tell that it is a Great System."
"And what is a Great System?"
"A heart-realm that encompasses the self, others, and the world. It is the largest kind of world."
"You seem to have classified them quite well."
"In my own way. Unless your world is larger and wider than mine, I should be able to see it. So I can surmise that yours is a world not easily identified.".
The Deep Sea is indeed quite wide and deep.
"However, no matter the environment, we can make your meaningless struggles meaningful."
"If you wish, I will even make it so you do not have to be hostile towards your Master. Though if she comes for us, there's nothing to be done."
"Just one more thing."
"What is it?"
He didn't notice. While holding the desk, I asked my most effective question.
"Who exactly are you saving us from? I mean, if you all just shut up and killed yourselves right now, ninety percent of all problems would disappear."
"So I'm asking with what confidence you spout this bullshit about being the world's saviors with a noble purpose."
"Just curious."
"..."
Suirak's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, but he didn't seem particularly angry. He slowly opened his mouth.
"If the earth were to collapse and the sky were to split apart, what do you think would happen?"
"What are you talking about all of a sudden?"
"If this world you call the physical-realm were to become like that, would it not mean the destruction of all?"
"I... suppose so?"
"Then would stopping that not be salvation?"
"Hmm. So, you people of the Red Lotus are doomsday prophets who think the world is going to end."
Well, cults do tend to gather followers using the keyword 'apocalypse'. Suirak shook his head.
"It is not destruction. It is a failure to endure."
"Yes, I see. Thank you for your answer. I suppose I should give you mine as well."
Infiltrate the Red Lotus undercover, get what I can, and get out. It's still not a bad option. From the way he talks, the Red Lotus possesses and knows a great deal about the heart-realm.
If I were to join, I would surely come to understand my own world better.
"Honestly, I am interested."
"Of course you are."
But— "Still, I'm sorry." The risk is too great. If they find out my heart-realm is the Deep Sea, there's no telling what might happen.
And more than anything, I don't want to be with these people.
"To be honest, I think you came here knowing I would say this."
"I did. I've also prepared countermeasures."
Unconcerned, Suirak took a step closer, his hand still outstretched.
"It is a pity that I must resort to this method."
"I thought you might...!"
I immediately sent a wind blade flying and jumped back. I didn't use the magic of the Deep Sea. If he didn't know my identity, it was better to hide it as much as possible.
"You know it's meaningless, don't you?"
"—Guh!"
Crack!
Before I even realized it, my feet were frozen to the ground in a block of ice. ... Certainly, there wasn't even a sliver of a chance of victory. This was a powerful being who had crossed hands with Dersia.
If he got serious, I would be killed instantly. He was only talking to me because his goal was to recruit me somehow; if that goal changed, someone like me would be nothing to him. My lower body was instantly frozen next, but I fumbled for the desk and made a threat.
"You'd better not come any closer."
"What can you do?"
"Struggle. My body isn't talented at anything else." —Click, the key entered the keyhole in the door.
Seeing the crudely carved lines on the desk, forming something that looked like the door to a small attic, a questioning look appeared on Suirak's face.
"What...?"
"It's not like I was doing nothing while we talked. A space to become a room, a door that opens, a keyhole. All the conditions have been met. If I turn this key, it will open immediately."
"... You—" It was a close call.
If I had backed away while talking, it would have been safer, but then he might have discovered that I was carving the desk into a small room with wind magic during our conversation. No matter how fast Suirak was, I could still open it. Not that the situation had changed.
Between me opening the door and Dersia grasping the situation, Suirak had more than enough time to kill me. I tried to negotiate a compromise.
"If you leave now, I won't report this to my Master. My Master treasures and adores me so much that she even granted me a surname, you know?"
"If you do anything to me, she will interfere with everything you do for the rest of your lives."
"Hmm..."
Suirak stroked his chin, looking regretful.
"A mistake. I should have guessed her disposition from the fact that Dersia took you in, and tried to talk after freezing your entire body."
"... I suppose so."
"I won't make that mistake next time."
I'm in big trouble. Seeing my expression contort, Suirak raised the corner of his mouth.
"Do not worry. If a next time truly comes, you will be the one looking for us."
"I don't think that will ever happen, even if I die."
"Is that so."
Suirak turned around as if he had no lingering attachments. ... He was just about to kidnap me, and now he's leaving this easily? But he really did open the door.
Just as I thought he was about to leave, he offered some strange advice as if he had one last thing to say.
"Do not trust your Master."
"Trying to drive a wedge between us won't work."
"Your Master is brilliant, and she must feel an interest in you. However, she does not wish for your survival."
"If she did, she would have made you into something that is not human."
Suirak gave me one last glance and walked out of the library.
"It would be a waste for you to die from the burden. Find a knight you can trust, reveal your condition, and beg for your life. You might be able to get help."
"And why should I listen to the words of a murderer who doesn't value human life any more than a feather?"
"Are those who do not even have their own world truly human?"
It was a sentence devoid of even a shred of guilt.
"I truly look forward to the day I learn of your world."
Thud!
His last words echoed and reverberated.