Chapter 58 Her Qiu Wuji Cosplay Isn't Quite Right

"I really am a fool. Truly," Chu Ge muttered to himself, eyes glazed, sitting on the sofa in the living room with a durian perched on his head. "I only knew they could drive — I never knew they could drive my car..."

Qiu Wuji stood off to one side with her arms folded, looking him up and down with a look of pure disdain, mainly wanting to see just how big a spot the sunflower was occupying — a pity he was sitting, so she couldn't see it.

"I knew long ago you were a masochist. No need to explain." Qiu Wuji finally heaved a sigh and spoke in a most pitying tone: "Opening a group and letting over a thousand people have their way with you — that courage is worthy of a Creator God. An ordinary man couldn't manage it..."

"Uh — over a thousand?" Chu Ge said hurriedly. "That was a joke! They can't reach through the internet cable to get me!"

"How do you know there's no such power?"

Holy shit, that actually makes an uncomfortable amount of sense! Chu Ge shuddered.

"Still, this Sect Master would never have guessed — so our Chu Ge-dada swings for men, and you're the one playing the woman in it..."

Chu Ge said weakly, "It's just a meme that's going around, it isn't real, believe me... Huh, you actually know your stuff. Since when does any random person use 'playing the woman'?"

Qiu Wuji gave a cold snort. "I've read plenty of mortal storybooks. Nothing but tales of the powerful and the wealthy, and many of them contain this sort of thing."

"Why does it sound like you rather enjoy reading them?"

Qiu Wuji said airily, "There's no use trying to steer the topic onto me. However much I read, it can't compare to the Father God's breadth of knowledge."

Chu Ge could see it now: Qiu Wuji hadn't bought the gay thing at all. At most, the smutty undertone of the group name annoyed her and she was using it as a pretext to vent. Plenty of other things were really making her angry...

That shame and fury hidden in her eyes — he had no idea which of the cars she'd actually watched...

Chu Ge thought back. His tastes were all over the place: what he'd posted in the group ranged from the tasteful and artistic to outright hardcore, plus plenty of multi-partner stuff. Euro-American, Japanese, Korean — he'd dabbled in all of it. Heaven knew which kind she'd seen... and whatever kind it was, he was finished!

You really think I wouldn't let you use my computer back then because I couldn't do without my work tools?

It was because I was afraid you'd accidentally find my several terabytes! Countless seniors have proven that hiding folders doesn't work — the best method is just not letting you near it! But I really am a fool, truly. I never thought a bunch of idiots would sell me out, boohoo...

Looking at Qiu Wuji's disdainful up-and-down stare, Chu Ge finally couldn't hold it in any longer. He simply gave up and lay back: "What? What are you looking at? Is this the first day you've learned our world here is a demon realm?"

Qiu Wuji: "?"

Oh-ho, getting brave again?

"You've seen that nightclub dance yourself, haven't you? What's so shocking?" Chu Ge said with a perfectly straight face. "People have needs. That nightclub thing was out in public — bad influence. Us? We hide at home and watch our own stuff. Healthy. Eco-friendly. Green — no, not green! Who are we even hurting?"

Qiu Wuji's lips twitched, and her eyes said it plainly: Go on, then. Let me see what other nonsense you can spin.

"And we're not breaking any laws! Look!" Chu Ge pulled out his phone and started flipping through his groups. He remembered someone had posted a screenshot before he'd closed the QQ chat app.

He tapped into the chat at the very top where someone had just spoken, and sure enough, the first thing to greet him was an image: "The Supreme People's Court states that transmitting obscene material between friends and family does not constitute a crime."

Below it, a cascade of copy-paste replies: "So are we driving or what, fam?"

"See!" Chu Ge held up his phone for Qiu Wuji as if presenting treasure. "Didn't I tell you?"

Qiu Wuji, face stiff, gave it a glance — she didn't look at the image at all. What she saw was the group name: "Flop Authors' Driving Group."

She couldn't help saying, "You even have a group dedicated to driving! Just how much of a lecher are you?"

Chu Ge: "..."

Qiu Wuji sighed. "Spend less time mixing in these groups. Look at these others — aren't they quite good? 'God-Slaying Dao Group,' 'Future Platinum Group' — now those show ambition!"

Chu Ge resignedly tapped open "God-Slaying Dao" and took a look. Inside, they were copy-pasting: "The mid-year Great Author annual meeting list is out. Zero people from this group are attending. Everyone reflect on yourselves..."

Then he tapped open the "Future Platinum" group and took a look. The same message was being copy-pasted there too: "The mid-year Great Author annual meeting list is out. Zero people from this group are attending. Everyone reflect on yourselves..."

Finally he opened "Flop Authors' Driving Group": "The mid-year Great Author annual meeting list is out. Eighteen people from this group are attending. Everyone reflect on yourselves — isn't it exhausting, traveling that far..."

Qiu Wuji: "?"

Chu Ge shut the chat with a deadpan face and said, in bitter anguish, "You think I like hanging around this lousy group?!"

Qiu Wuji's bellyful of shame and anger had nearly been worn away by all this junk. She didn't even know how to scold him anymore, so she turned resentfully toward the door: "I'm going to buy some xuan paper, and go out to the suburbs to see if I can bring back some flowers and plants. You just write your manuscript properly — what are you doing messing around in lousy groups!"

Chu Ge shouted after her, "Don't take the subway — you can't ride it right now..."

Qiu Wuji waved a hand without turning her head. "I've looked into it. The bus is fine, I just need a mask. I've already picked out which routes... and if that really doesn't work, I'll just escape by flight!"

Before she'd finished speaking, the door had already closed.

Why does her retreating back look like she's the one more flustered? Just which car did she actually watch?

Chu Ge let his shoulders slump and let out a breath, then opened "Flop Authors' Driving Group" and said, "Thanks for saving my life, everyone..."

"Oh hey, Chu Ge-dada, are you going to the annual meeting this time?"

Chu Ge said, "Nope. I haven't even hit ten-thousand subscriptions, so how would I qualify for the annual meeting? Here's hoping the year-end one has a spot for me."

Many people chimed in: "With your momentum, ten-thousand-plus is a lock — no suspense at all. The only suspense is how many tens of thousands..."

Chu Ge was nowhere near as confident as they were, and seized the chance: "Big shots, how about some chapter recommendations?"

The great authors were all quite casual about it: "No problem."

Chu Ge promptly posted a torrent magnet link: "Just a little something, hardly worth mentioning..."

"Holy shit, the big shot's amazing!" The group chat exploded.

"Got any more? Hurry it up!"

"Anyone going to do a vehicle inspection?"

"Learn from big shot Chu Ge, you lot — what are the rest of you even good for?"

So in this group, the real big shots were the ones who could drive, not the ones who could write...

Chu Ge closed the group chat and stormed back into his own "Fratricide": "You've all had a great time driving today, haven't you?"

"Oh, Big Chu's here. That female admin is so cute — I feel like she's genuinely cosplaying Qiu Wuji's tone and reactions, hahaha!"

Chu Ge was taken aback. Looked at from that angle, it was actually pretty interesting... He thought about it for a long while before saying, "So how's her cosplay?"

"Not all that close — you can't really see the sect master's domineering air. She can't exactly act all high and mighty with us for real, right? But it's even better this way! Everything else has exactly that flavor — it really feels like Qiu Wuji ran out of the book. Too much fun!"

Chu Ge's urge to come pick a fight vanished completely, and he started staring blankly into space.

Qiu Wuji herself — not quite like Qiu Wuji...

Someone else asked, "Where is she? Drag her back out for a few more lines. Who cares if Qiu Wuji mutes me — I'd happily let her stomp me to death in high heels!"

The crowd surged: "In your dreams! If anyone's getting stepped on, it's me!"

"How would I know where she is?" Chu Ge said guiltily. "It's not like we're living together."

"Tch, you think you could get a female fan to live with you? Want us to come over and give you a nice warm pile of burly men?"

Chu Ge: "..."

The admin Chu Ge had DMed earlier had gotten the picture by now; he sent a goofy grin emoji: "Say, now that we've got a female admin, shouldn't we be a bit more careful with the driving from now on..."

A chorus of groans went up in the group: "Ugh, so this is the downside of having a female admin..."

"No need!" Chu Ge said suddenly. "You keep driving! Leave it to your daddy to think of a way!"

The group was stunned: "Big Chu, you're fearless!"

Chu Ge gritted his teeth: "I'll drive her into being used to it, numb to it, treating it as normal — and then I'll post extra chapters!"

If I can't wash myself clean anymore, why bother washing? Try a different angle — maybe this turns out to be a good thing!

On the bus, Qiu Wuji clutched her phone, grinding her teeth at Chu Ge's words, viciously wanting to kick him out — only to discover, helplessly, that she couldn't kick him. She couldn't even mute him.

Damn him, he's the group owner. He outranks me... Qiu Wuji realized this and nearly snapped the bus seat's armrest in two with rage.

How is it that you outrank me wherever I go? So what if you're the Father God!