Graduation means a Chinese restaurant. We arrived at a Chinese cuisine restaurant in Nampo District.
“You've all worked hard. Once the three of you leave for Seoul, it'll be quite lonely for us. Don't get into any trouble in Seoul. I can't cover for you there. Got it, all three of you?”
Starting with Hyeon-seong’s father, Detective Park, Myeong-soo’s father also continued.
“It's a relief you all came to your senses. Who would have thought you'd get into Korea University? Hyeon-seong also started his sport again and got into the Korea National University of Physical Education. I trust you'll do well on your own, but you're all adults now. From now on, remember that it's not your parents' responsibility, but your own.”
“Yes, Father.”
The food we ordered arrived. An uninvited guest, Park Dong-soo, spoke loudly.
“I'm treating today. Please, eat a lot.”
“······.”
Everyone stared at him without answering.
“Hahaha. No need to look at me like that. Detective Park, and you too, Mr. Lee, you know me, don't you? I'm indebted to Mu-hyeok over there, so I came to congratulate him. Don't give me such looks. Even if I'm a gangster bastard, I try not to harm ordinary people. Detective Park, you know that best, don't you? Isn't that right?”
At that, Hyeon-seong's father let out a deep sigh.
“Alright, since you're already here, I'll eat well. I don't know what happened between you and Mu-hyeok, but he's a kid who walks a different path from you. Understand?”
“Aigoo! Detective, I know. Don't you worry. It's just because he's like a little brother to me.”
“Mr. Park, I can pay.”
“Ah, Mr. Lee. I'm the one who's paying.”
Amidst the bickering adults, Myeong-soo, Hyeon-seong, and I ate our food in silence. Before long, the adults, perhaps swept up in the graduation atmosphere, began reminiscing, each telling stories of their childhoods. When the mood was just right, Park Dong-soo came over and spoke to me quietly.
“Hmph, I didn't know Detective Park was here. Shit, that guy is a Grim Reaper for gangsters.”
“Hahaha, is there something you're afraid of, Mister? I'm disappointed.”
“Hey, hey! To guys like us, the cops are Grim Reapers and the prosecutors are God. You don't know that?”
It was Park Dong-soo, exaggerating his fear. The meal ended in a rather warm atmosphere, and we parted ways, promising to meet again. Park Dong-soo followed my grandma and me.
After arriving in front of my house, I sent my grandmother inside first, and we talked at the playground in front of the house.
“But really, why did you come to the graduation?”
“It's my little bro's graduation, of course I had to come. Yes, of course. I also have something to say.”
“What is it?”
Park Dong-soo let out a deep sigh.
“Trying to start a company and all that, why is it so damn complicated? There's no progress because I'm surrounded by ignorant bastards. Isn't there anyone smart I can trust to handle things?”
“Haven't you looked for a lawyer?”
“Ha, shit. The same bastards who were all 'welcome, welcome' when I needed them for a criminal case are all waving their hands away now that I ask them to work with me. I oughta just bury them. And it's obvious we'll have to walk the line between legal and illegal. I need a guy I can trust, don't I?”
True, they'd have to handle dirty work. How many lawyers would want to clean up a gangster's mess, especially when it's not a major corporation? Just then, a person popped into my head.
“Um... look for someone named Lee Sang-geun near Busan Station. He's a lawyer, and he'll do anything if you pay him enough.”
“Lee Sang-geun?”
“Yes. He's an unusual person, but he's trustworthy. He's also a better fighter than most gangsters. He's not very famous yet, but his value will skyrocket later, so you should definitely make him your man now while he's cheap. He'll be a great help to you later on.”
“Really?”
I nodded at Park Dong-soo, who seemed quite tempted.
“He'll be a lawyer with a unique background. I think he was a cop, then passed the bar exam and became a lawyer? Anyway, you should go look for him.”
“Ha, look at this. I just ask my little bro, and boom, I get an answer. How could I not come looking for you? Right?”
Park Dong-soo grinned broadly.
“Hoo... Mister, you really can't keep visiting me like this after I go to Seoul. Understand?”
“Ah, this kid! I got it. Lee Sang-geun...”
Park Dong-soo muttered Lee Sang-geun’s name over and over. I stood up, intending to end the conversation.
“What? Leaving already?”
“We don't have anything else to talk about, do we?”
“Wow, you damn bastard. Have you no feelings?”
“I'll leave you my contact information when I get to Seoul. Please contact me there. Only look for me when you have a problem you absolutely can't solve on your own. And don't ever call just to say hi.”
“Really? I can't just call?”
“······Are we dating or something?”
This guy... no way, right? It can't be. Seeing my expression, Park Dong-soo burst out laughing.
“Kuhahaha! You funny bastard. Alright. Have a safe trip to Seoul, and I'll give you a call once I've taken over all of Busan. Ah! Really no drugs?”
“Yes, no drugs. If you ignore my words and get involved in selling or smuggling drugs... my ties with you end there.”
“Aigoo~ you scary bastard. You're scarier than me, a gangster. Don't worry. But I don't know if my boys will listen.”
“That's for you to handle. I'll be going now. My grandmother must be waiting.”
I turned my back without waiting for a reply. From behind me, Park Dong-soo said.
“A bastard with no feelings, yet he cares so damn much for his grandma. Go on in. When you go to Seoul, I'll take care of your grandma. I'll make sure no weird bastards get near her.”
Before entering the doorway, I waved at Park Dong-soo. The day before leaving for Seoul. I sat facing my grandmother in the living room, just the two of us.
“Grandma, I'll visit often. I'll come down whenever I have time, during breaks and on weekends.”
“It's alright. You don't have to come down so often, it's a hassle. Why waste your time coming down? Just come on holidays and during school breaks.”
“But I'll miss you, Grandma.”
“My boy. You've grown up so well. When did that little kid grow up so much?”
Suddenly, I recalled my childhood. The beginning of my childhood memories was...
“Grandma, I miss Mom and Dad! Why don't I have a mom and dad?”
“······They're busy. My boy, is there anything you want to eat?”
“Waaaah! Mom! Dad!”
It was the image of my grandmother shedding tears as she tried to soothe me, crying and throwing a tantrum because I missed my parents. The next memory, too.
“Grandma, all the other kids come to school holding their mom and dad's hands, why don't my mom and dad come?”
“······You have me, don't you?”
“Still. I miss Mom and Dad.”
And the next.
“Mu-hyeok! My boy, Mu-hyeok!”
“Hey, Grandma. Look at my son's face. How could you let his face get into this state? What are you going to do about it?”
“Aigoo, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“I mean, it's not like he's showing off that he was raised without parents. Ah, educate him properly. Yes?”
“Yes, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”
No one listened to my side of the story. Even the teacher only scolded me and my grandmother. At my young age, I couldn't understand.
On the way home.
“Grandma, was it my fault?”
“No. What did our Mu-hyeok do wrong? But no matter how much you dislike someone, you shouldn't hit them. Got it?”
“Why! He was the one who teased me first, calling me a bastard with no mom and dad!”
“······I'm sorry, Mu-hyeok.”
It was from then. That I started to go astray.
“Mu-hyeok, Mu-hyeok. You can't be like this. My boy, how did you end up like this?”
“You think I wanted to be like this? Why do you go around apologizing to everyone? Is it my fault I beat up the kid who called me a parentless bastard, the kid who called me a beggar? And on top of that, those so-called teachers keep mentioning my name in front of everyone, talking about donations. I did it because I wanted to survive, too.”
“Mu-hyeok, Mu-hyeok. I'm sorry.”
“Ah, enough! Stop saying you're sorry.”
That day, I ran away from home for the first time. It was only for three days, but I heard that until I returned, my grandmother had searched for me all over the neighborhood like a madwoman. By then, there was no one at school who dared to mess with me.
No kid who cursed me as a parentless bastard, no kid who teased me as a beggar. There was no one. If I didn't like someone, I fought.
And I fought again. From then on, I was called Mad Dog. Even after starting middle school, no one talked to me except for the first few.
Some picked fights, trying to establish who was the top dog, but after a few brawls with those bastards, no one approached me anymore. That's when I met Myeong-soo. A kid so small he was always first or second in line in class.
But from the clothes he wore and the money he carried, you could tell he was from a wealthy family.
“You're Mu-hyeok, right? I'm Myeong-soo. Let's be friends.”
I thought he was crazy. I ignored him. And from then on, Myeong-soo became the target of the school delinquents.
They took his money and beat him up often. He probably wanted to use me to have an easier school life. When I ignored him, he became the delinquents' target instead.
One day, I was sleeping with my head on my desk when a loud noise woke me up.
“Hey! Shorty. Is this all you've got?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. It's hard to bring more. Please, just this once.”
“Look at this bastard. You're scared of your parents, but not of us, huh?”
“······.”
“If you don't give me money, it makes me want to hit you. Right?”
“······I'll bring more tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow is tomorrow, today is today.”
Myeong-soo's shout, crying for them to stop... ...overlapped with the image of my younger self, shouting 'stop' at the kid who teased me for being a parentless bastard.
“That's enough. It's noisy.”
The delinquents who were hitting Myeong-soo at the back of the classroom turned to look at me.
“What did you say?”
“Are your ears blocked? I said that's enough. It's noisy. This isn't even your classroom, why do you keep coming here and causing a ruckus? I'm trying to sleep. Get lost.”
“Is this bastard crazy? Hey! You wanna die?”
“Hey, don't. What's the point of dealing with the Mad Dog? Let's just go. He said he'll bring the money tomorrow.”
The other guys next to him tried to stop him, but there's always one that has to act tough.
“Let go! This fucker wants to die. Hey! Kim Mu-hyeok. You think we leave you alone because we're scared of you? We leave you alone because you're quiet. But what? Get lost? Do you really want to die?”
“I don't give a damn what you think of me. Go play gangster in your own classroom. Didn't I tell you to get lost!”
That day, I fought the kid who was the top dog of the school. I got ganged up on during the fight and eventually collapsed. But the next day, and the day after that.
I kept clinging to them like a mad dog. One by one. Sometimes two at a time.
Sometimes I fought ten and won, and sometimes I lost. In the end, even the delinquents gave up.
“Hey! Let's stop. We were wrong.”
“Don't mess with the kids in my class. Got it? And you bastards, you never think of fighting one-on-one, you just gang up on people all the time? That's why you're delinquents.”
Seeing me come home injured every time after fighting with the other kids, my grandma cried every day. I hated seeing that like crazy. After that, the three of us—Myeong-soo, myself, and Hyeon-seong who transferred later—always hung out together and caused trouble.
We fought kids who picked fights with us, and ended up in and out of the police station a few times. And······ my grandma, who had only worried sick because of me wandering around like that, suddenly died in vain. Just like that, I lost my only remaining family, unable to do anything.
Before I knew it, my vision blurred. I blinked a few times. I saw the face of my grandma, holding my hand tightly.
Grandma is alive. My grandma, who knows nothing but me. My grandma, who must have been in more pain than me because her own son died.
My grandma, who had no time to grieve because of me, who was left all alone.
“I love you, Grandma.”
That night, I fell asleep in my grandmother's arms. For the first time in a long while, I could sleep soundly without a single thought. The next day.
When I woke up, my grandma had prepared a feast so grand the table legs could have broken.
“Why did you make so much?”
“My boy, once you go to Seoul, I can't cook for you anymore. I made all sorts of things you like. Eat up.”
“Okay.”
Before long, a car sent from Pyeongchang District arrived in front of the house. With the car waiting with its engine running, I turned and hugged my grandma.
“Grandma, I'll visit often.”
“Hurry up and go.”
“I'll call often.”
“Alright, alright.”
Grandma, patting my back.
“Grandma, make sure you eat well. Okay?”
“Alright, you eat well too.”
“Mhm.”
Myeong-soo and Hyeon-seong, who had promised to go up to Seoul with me, arrived.
“Grandma! We'll come with Mu-hyeok next time. Stay healthy!”
“Grandma, please stay healthy.”
As we got in, the car slowly started to move. Grandma stood in front of the door, watching the car we were in for a long time.