A Knight Who Eternally Regresses

Chapter 69 I Dreamed of Holding a Woman (2)

11 min read

Enkrid had a dream. There was a field of flowers and a woman.

“I’ll be in your care for a while, so you know.”

She possessed a mysterious charm. Even for Enkrid, who rarely gave women a second glance, she seemed unforgettable. The dream was chaotic.

It was a flower field, then the black river appeared, then he saw the ferryman, then the woman, and then suddenly, the panther.

‘What are you doing here?’

He asked inwardly, but the panther shook its head from side to side and, as if sulking, turned its head away sharply. Finding it incredibly cute, Enkrid couldn’t resist and scratched the top of its head with his fingers.

Grrr.

He had heard that a Lake Panther was a fierce beast, but at times like this, it was no different from a cat. It let out a pleased cry. The purring sound was endearing even to Enkrid’s ears.

Then he opened his eyes for a moment, and it was truly ambiguous whether it was a dream or reality. The woman he saw in the flower field and by the black river was in his arms. And she was naked.

When he blinked, the woman disappeared, and the top of the panther’s head came into view. It seemed to have been a dream after all.

‘For a dream, though.’

A heavy feeling remained in his arms. A fragrance and warmth that couldn’t be felt from the small panther lingered, making the feeling even stranger.

‘The dream was too realistic.’

Then sleep washed over him again, and Enkrid did not bother to fight it. When he opened his eyes in the morning, the panther, which never left his arms before he woke up, was nowhere to be found.

“Panth—, Aster.”

Enkrid, who was about to call it casually, remembered the name he had given it in his sleep. At that, he saw the Lake Panther, which had been standing stiffly to one side, begin to move. It was hidden so perfectly in the shadows of the lodging that it was hard to find without looking closely.

The owner of eyes blue as a lake and fur black as ebony. The creature padded lightly across the floor and then sat down primly in a corner. It was on a piece of leather placed in the corner of the lodging for resting.

A heated leather, of course.

‘Overnight, we’ve gone beyond comfortable to luxurious.’

To think that even a mere panther was grooming its claws on heated leather. On it, there was some beef jerky, placed there either by Big Eyes or Rem. The panther roughly cut the jerky with its claws, then put it in its mouth and began to chew.

But why did it feel so empty? Was it because the little beast that warmed his arms in the morning was gone? Or was it because the dream was too realistic?

He felt like he could draw the naked body of the woman from his dream if asked. Of course, since he had no artistic talent whatsoever, it would be a complete mess. That’s how vividly it remained in his memory.

‘She was beautiful, though.’

Her beauty was exceptional. Enough to rival the Elf Company Commander, who boasted an otherworldly beauty.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

“I had a dream, and it’s stuck in my memory so clearly.”

Aster looked at Enkrid. The panther’s gaze was strange. In the dream, when he said her name, his will might have been left behind more strongly than she thought.

For someone with a weak willpower, that alone could cause mental damage. Then, what should she do. Should she try to find a way to do something, even in a panther’s body.

The panther became serious.

“What kind of dream was it?”

Rem asked, rolled up in a piece of leather.

“Are you a caterpillar?”

“That’s right. I’m a caterpillar. A caterpillar with only a mouth. So feed me breakfast. Or this weak caterpillar will starve to death.”

This bastard was definitely half-crazy. Enkrid let Rem’s words go in one ear and out the other. He was the kind of guy you could do that to.

“So what was the dream?”

Rem asked again. Enkrid answered, scratching his chin.

“It was a strange dream.”

“Strange?”

Rem tilted his head. With only his head sticking out, he made all his expressions with his face and head. If you could call that a talent, it was a talent.

“I saw a naked woman.”

“Krk! Kack, kack!”

‘Hmm?’

Enkrid’s eyes turned to the panther. He saw it coughing repeatedly, as if a piece of jerky was stuck in its throat.

“Aster?”

The panther kept its head pressed to the floor, ignoring his call. It was a panther that had exuded an air of mystery since he first met it. A beast among beasts, the master of the Green Pearl Plains.

The Lake Panther, the panther with eyes like a lake. Such a fierce beast was drooling on the floor as it coughed.

“Keck!”

To the point where he wondered if it might die.

“In all my life, I’ve never seen a panther choke to death on jerky. So, was she pretty?”

She was stunningly beautiful. But he didn’t answer. What was the point of saying it?

It was just a dream, after all.

“Aren’t you being too sluggish just because it’s winter, Rem?”

Enkrid said as he got up. When he stood up, he realized his entire body ached. Just moving was painful.

Still, if he stayed put at times like this, his body would only get worse. He knew this from experience. That didn’t mean he needed to train.

In the past, he would have pushed his body harder out of impatience. But he knew that would only break his body further. Since learning that, he maintained his limits.

He wasn’t as impatient as before.

‘Rest is also a part of training.’

It was something countless sword instructors had said. If he loosened up his body moderately today, tomorrow would be a little easier. The Monk-style exercises he learned from Audin would be enough.

“So was she pretty, I asked.”

“What does it matter? It was a dream.”

He answered vaguely and went outside. It was cold today, too. His whole body ached, but he began to loosen up.

His thoughts weren't complicated. In fact, after a round of sparring, things had become clearer. It had always been a question.

‘What should I do next?’

It is said that for those with talent, the so-called geniuses, the path reveals itself even if they don’t want it to. Finding what one needs right now, what one lacks—that too is a talent. Then, what about those without talent?

They try this and that. Time is consumed from that point on. The starting line is different.

That was why a good teacher was necessary. The existence of a teacher who could point out one’s shortcomings was always like a treasure. This time, the Elf Company Commander had played a part of that role.

Now, someone else had to fill in the rest of what he lacked.

“Audin.”

In the morning, Audin came outside.

The cold?

He wasn’t the type to care about such things. People even called him the praying bear. It wasn’t a name given just for his size.

“Yes, brother, it’s a fine day, isn’t it?”

A biting wind whistled past them. The Border Guard was in the northernmost part of the Pen-Hanil Continent. This meant it was a particularly cold region even for the Pen-Hanil Continent.

Thanks to the cloudy sky, the surroundings looked mottled even though it was morning. But this was Audin’s nature. He was like this whether the sun was rising or the rain was falling.

Although he couldn’t quite bring himself to say ‘good morning’ on snowy days.

“It is.”

Enkrid replied.

What did the weather matter? No, it was a good day. Any day one could learn something new was a good day.

“Teach me how to wrestle.”

Enkrid was always the same. He did as he always did. His purpose and will were clear.

It was because he always treated his squad members this way that their current relationship had been formed. Audin tilted his head. To him, this man was truly a peculiar person.

Seeing how his skills had improved in just a few days, he wondered what kind of luck he had to have achieved such a thing. Enkrid, the Squad Leader, was a blazing flame in Audin’s eyes. A flame that burned its surroundings without knowing it was burning itself.

And so, that flame illuminated and warmed its surroundings. When he had been trying to turn his back on the world, when he had in fact half-given up. That was when he first entered the unit and met the man.

“What are you doing now?”

It was their first meeting. Enkrid was swinging a club in front of the barracks. It wasn’t just any club, but three waterlogged logs bound together with rope.

“Strength training.”

Would simply swinging something heavy easily increase one’s strength? It would, but it wasn't an efficient method. It would be a relief if his body didn't break down from doing that.

He thought Enkrid would quit in a few days. Enkrid did not. Every day was the same.

Whether he went to the battlefield, had duty, whether it rained or snowed. He would even cut into his sleeping hours to swing his sword. Audin recalled his past self.

Wasted away—those two words could describe him back then. He had asked, exuding an air of gloom.

“Your skills are terrible, so why do you do that every day?”

“I’ll get better if I keep at it.”

There was no hint of offense on his face. Like a calm answer to a calm question, he replied and continued what he was doing. Watching him, Audin felt as if he had been struck by lightning.

‘How can he be like that?’

What moved him? What kind of faith did he have? There was no scent of faith.

They say that effort is also a talent, but if one isn’t born with anything in the first place, one cannot continue to make an effort. Enkrid was that kind of person. A person betrayed by his efforts every day.

A person who, despite being betrayed every day, continued to move forward every time.

‘What are you?’

After that, Audin observed the Squad Leader constantly. As he continued to watch the Squad Leader, the reason for his own despair began to feel truly insignificant.

‘Because faith is not something you do in hopes of a reward.’

That day, Audin began to pray again.

“Brother, you’ll ruin all your joints doing that.”

After that, he began to help with the Squad Leader’s training a little at a time. Audin could read people’s bodies. It was fair to say he had an eye for talent on par with Frokk.

If Frokk was called a talent appraiser, Audin could be called a physical appraiser who read the body through the power of acquired effort and talent, then grasped the degree of its training. In his view, Enkrid had to work twice as hard as others even to build his body. His natural skeletal structure was like that.

The quality of his muscles wasn't very good either. But would he give up? No. The Squad Leader he knew was not that kind of person.

“We must start by building your body, will that be alright?”

Audin asked.

Though the biting wind still blew. Ever since that day he watched the Squad Leader and started praying again, he always thought it was a good morning. Except for snowy days, of course.

“By all means.”

“It will be painful.”

“It’s fine.”

It would be better than dying. So Enkrid thought.

“It will hurt.”

“No problem.”

It would be less painful than being stabbed to death countless times.

“What I’m about to teach you is not the Monk-style exercises. It is a technique I developed. It’s called the ‘Isolation Technique’.”

The name sounded ominous, but he also thought it was just as hopeful. If he was going to learn, he might as well learn it properly. These were the words of the person with the best martial skills he, Enkrid—no, that a Squad Member had ever seen.

“Isolation Technique.”

After Heart of the Beast, Sense of the Blade, and Single Point Focus, this was the name of his fourth skill.

“It will be training that you understand with your head and execute with your body, brother.”

“Yeah.”

“Then, let’s begin.”

His tone was placid. Enkrid nodded as if it were a matter of course.

And then.

“Guuuuuuh.”

Instead of screams, moans began to leak from a corner of the training yard.

“This is just the beginning, brother.”

Enkrid wondered if the being Audin prayed to every day was a devil. The exercises he had done before were literally just for loosening up the body. And he had called them basics at the drop of a hat.

“We will build muscle strength by lifting weights based on flexibility. Let’s begin.”

Audin kneaded various parts of his body, then made him assume a bizarre posture. It was a posture that felt like it would literally rip his muscles apart. Why was it that when he was face down with his heels pressing into his buttocks, the muscles on the front of his thighs felt like they were about to tear?

Audin personally grabbed Enkrid’s legs and pressed down. Enkrid felt Audin’s hands like shackles made of steel. His strength was that unyielding.

Enkrid, who lacked an understanding of the body, had to learn the movements of his muscles with his body.

“It will be easier if you think of it as dying a couple of times.”

He was already thinking that way. It was a series of truly terrible pains. So much so that he wondered if it would be better to just die.

“Grrruuugk.”

A strange groan started to come from Enkrid’s mouth.

“It’s alright. I know Squad Leader brother’s limits.”

‘Why do you know my limits?’

Was Audin actually a madman? The thought occurred to Enkrid automatically. Still, he was inwardly pleased.

He was looking forward to what he would gain through this suffering, so Enkrid smiled even as he groaned and suffered.

“Seeing your expression, you seem to have some room to spare.”

No, he had no room to spare. The devilish monk Audin disassembled, split, and tore Enkrid’s body several times that day. It was a day in winter, the end of the four seasons.

After three full days of building flexibility.

“Lift.”

This was followed by performing limited movements while holding heavy stones.

“Sss, hoo. Control your breathing. Fill your belly with air. You do it with abdominal pressure, brother.”

The Isolation Technique was not a skill used in combat. It was a technique to remodel one’s own body.

Fifteen days.

For fifteen full days, Enkrid endured with the feeling of shitting blood. Then, it became a little more bearable. After another fifteen days passed.

“It’s manageable now, isn’t it?”

It wasn’t as hard as before. The pain wasn’t as bad. The beginning had been difficult, but it had been worth it.

And so, after another fifteen days—a month in total—changes in his body began to occur.